Look at a Captain
by runaway scrape
Summary: Updated and finished! Once again, the crew of Firefly class ship, Serenity, have a brush with death. It's just that this time, death comes with cute little whiskers and a taste for chaos. Rated for language.
1. Chapter 1

**Look at a Captain**

By: Runaway Scrape

Date: November 4, 2004

_Disclaimer: Firefly, its characters, setting, and whatnot, belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and 20th Century Fox. I'm not attempting to profit in any way, though should anyone official take an interest in my work, I'd gladly trade a story for a chance to be in the upcoming movie, just a small cameo. Maybe I could get killed off by a Blue Gloves guy. It could happen. I'm just saying, is all._

**Part 1**

The weather was terrible; the food was worse. What people saw in this planet, she'd never understand. Then again, the people here seemed blind, deaf, dumb, and senseless to boot. It had taken her a week to locate her quarry, and even then, they were under heavy guard. She hadn't been able to catch a break. Now, they were traveling through the lower docktown of Persephone, a smelly, dusty warren of buildings, landing pads, taverns, customs shops, warehouses, whorehouses, and outhouses.

Could no one hear her enemies squeaking in fear as she paced their progress through the stinking streets? They knew she was their doom, if only she could catch up with them. The man guarding them seemed to have no idea of the perils he stood next to. She growled to herself and wiped some dust off her face as she watched from underneath a wagon. It was impossible to keep clean on this world, and she hated it.

"Live cargo, huh?" Mal asked, looking at the box secured to the man's dolly.

"Lab mice," the man replied. "Some big whoop-de-do about getting them to Liang Ho within the week, and the regular courier's on the other side of the Rim. Really not a hassle. You just need to slip them some water and feed once a day. Oh, and don't let them out."

"Right," Mal nodded. "Last thing I need is a bunch of varmints gettin' loose."

"Expensive vermin," the man corrected, handing a bill of lading to Mal, who signed it, put his thumb to it, and tore a copy off for himself before giving it back.

"Well, I got just the man to handle it. We'll send word once we've handed your critters over."

"I appreciate it," the man responded, unhooking the box from his dolly and giving it to Mal.

She watched the exchange with growing frustration. Couldn't they smell the danger? Weren't the hackles on the backs of their necks rising up as high as hers? Stupid, stupid people! Well, there was nothing for it but to follow her quarry on board and make sure they would never reach their destination alive.

"Kaylee," Mal called, and was answered by a perky, tousled brunette peeking out from behind a deck plate, "when you're done with that, take these back to the doctor. Tell him he's in charge of these varmints for the duration. And make sure you put whatever that is back where you found it."

"But, Cap'n," she blinked, "I picked it up special, off'n that dealer in Diurn Alley. Can't get a better deal'n what I got."

"Deal with it later. Get the critters over to the doc," he instructed.

Wiping her hands on the seat of her coveralls, Kaylee went over to pick up the box and peered in.

"Aw, ain't they just the cutest things?" she grinned.

"Cuter'n a box of buttons," Mal rolled his eyes. "Just take 'em on down to the good doc-"

"NO!" River's yell preceded her into the cargo bay. "I won't! They shouldn't be here! They're bad. They're wrong!"

She stormed in and stopped cold when she saw Mal and Kaylee standing on either side of the live cargo box. Simon, following right on her heels, nearly ran her down.

"Mei-mei," he started.

"No! With the whiskers and their little hands! I won't!"

She turned around to shake a finger under Simon's nose. Kaylee looked up at Mal, who sighed and closed his eyes.

"River," Simon started again. "If you'll ju-"

"NO! It's all red and crunchy and . . ." she trailed off and tilted her head, scrunching her eyebrows together as if she were listening to something. "Oh. It's all right now." She smiled, then frowned and pointed her finger back at Simon. "But I'm not going in there."

And she flounced off back to her room.

"You know, just when I think I got a handle on her brand of weirdness," Mal observed, "she goes off in a completely new direction."

"She makes a practice of it," Simon responded, then looked down at the box Kaylee was holding. "What's that?"

"Your latest assignment. Figured, you bein' the doc and all, they'd be in good hands with you," Mal answered.

Simon picked up the box and looked into it. "White mice?"

"Mmmm-hmmmm."

"Ain't they just the cutest li'l things y'ever did see?" Kaylee grinned.

"When I was in medical school, I must have gone through several hundred of these," Simon mused, tapping on the cage. "Anyway, I need to go check on River. I've no idea what set her off this time."

After Simon left, Kaylee turned to Mal. "He didn't . . . kill them, did he?"

Mal closed his eyes briefly. "Mei-mei, I'm rightly sure that if he did, he would have fitted 'em up with a proper burial and prayers an' all. He's that kind of man."

That seemed to comfort her.

* * *

"This is all your fault!" the lab technician snapped at her coworker.

"My fault?" he squeaked in anger. "I'm not the one who let some imposter sign off on Project Devastate and walk right out of the building with three years' work in a small box with airholes!"

"Hey, he had ID. He checked out! Besides which, it's not like I'm the one who forgot to engage the secondary security measures and let Felis Obscuris stroll out of the office."

Both techs glared at each other, until the second looked away and scrubbed the side of his head with a hand. "This isn't doing us any good. They'll be here in one more month, and they're going to want results. We can't recreate all that work in four weeks. What are we going to do?"

The second took a deep breath. "Bounty hunters."

"What?"

"It's our only hope," she continued. "We take some money out of the security budget, hire some bounty hunters and tell them to bring back Decimate and Obscuris, no questions asked."

"That's embezzling! If they audit the accounts, they'll catch us, and we're dead. Besides, neither of us knows how to do it."

"What, you think I didn't know about your little afternoon delight last quarter?"

The second technician stopped, mouth agape, totally flustered. "That wasn't . . . I mean, you can't . . ."

"You did it then, you can do it again. We'll need at least two thousand."

"Two thousand? I only took two hundred last time!"

"Do it, or we're dead."

The second technician sighed, and his shoulders slumped in defeat. "I'll log on to the Core and see what I can do."

* * *

She had found a decent hiding place, but it had taken her hours to bathe properly and restore herself. She was still irritable. The good thing about this ship was that it was riddled with vents, ports, and accesses, so she could slip about without attracting attention. The bad thing was the lack of food and water. She might have to get creative about that. At least she knew where her enemies hid. As soon as things quieted down for the night, she had some exploring to do.

River was ready for her when she appeared. She had laid out a small bowl of water and a plate of dense protein flakes for her guest. She was not disappointed.

"You'll save us, won't you?" River asked.

A pair of golden eyes regarded her, scornful that such a question need even be asked. Their owner then returned to her late night snack and daintily gobbled up the main course.

She was too late. Fear and frustration made her flex her claws, and her lips pulled back from her sharp teeth in a grimace. They had figured a way out of their little home and were now spreading out across the ship to wreak whatever havoc they could. Well, she had a little havoc of her own. She inspected the cage. Four, five – no, six of them. It would be hell tracking them through the ship. There were too many places where they could squeeze in and get to work, but she'd best get started. She jumped down from the counter and wormed her way back into the cupboard where the access to one of the auxiliary wiring ducts waited.


	2. Chapter 2

**Part 2**

Ever since Jubal Early had found his way on to Serenity, Kaylee had trouble sleeping at night. Just as she started to drift off, some little noise would yank her back to wakefulness – heart pounding, eyes wide as saucers. It was silly, as there wasn't a noise Serenity might make she wouldn't know, but there it was. She'd thought of asking Simon for something to help her sleep, but . . . she shied off at that and refused to put her finger on exactly why she didn't want to go that route with him. Instead, she twirled her hair, chewed on her lip, hummed that fancy dance tune to herself, and tried to relax back into sleep.

Just as her eyelids had started to close, there was a tiny little creeeeaaaaak, followed by an even softer thump. Neither of those noises fit her catalog of Serenity sounds. Frozen, she held her breath. There, on the floor past her bed, nearer the ladder. Something was there.

There was a scurry, then a couple of medium size bangs. If it were an intruder, he must have had an epileptic fit on the floor. With that thought, Kaylee plucked up the courage to throw her legs over the edge of the bed and reach for the light with her right hand. Before she reached it, something small and dense landed on the bed beside her. She turned on the switch.

It was a cat.

The cat was purring.

It took a few deep breaths before Kaylee could find her voice. The cat watched her with indolent, curious eyes, blinking at her. It was a beautiful tortoiseshell with markings of cream, orange, brown, and black. It licked its paw and proceeded to clean first one ear, and then the other.

"Well . . . hey, puss . . ."

She put her index finger out, and after a moment's deliberation, the cat sniffed it, nuzzled it, and gave it a quick, approving lick. When Kaylee held out her whole hand, the cat poured itself along the underside, getting a good, solid stroke in. Kaylee sat and stared, blinking.

"MMmmmrrOOW!"

"Oh, sorry 'bout that," she apologized, and began stroking the short fur. As she worked, the cat turned from side to side, getting the best coverage possible, pausing to have a particularly scritchy spot worked on. "How'd you get here, sweetheart?"

"RRRrrrrrRRRR," the cat answered.

"Cargo bay door while we were planetside, I expect," Kaylee nodded, taking a moment to direct her attentions to that spot behind the ears that turned all cats of her acquaintance into purring wrecks. "Cap'n won't like it a bit, I'm afraid."

"Rrreh."

The cat climbed halfway into her lap, settled down, and began to make biscuits. The volume of purr rose until it made her ears vibrate. Strangely enough, Kaylee found herself yawning – not a problem she'd had in a long while.

"I guess I'll have some explainin' to do in the morning," she told the cat.

Very carefully, she held the cat against her as she pulled her legs back onto the bed, arranged her blanket, and then reached up and turned the light out. As soon as she had herself horizontal, the cat snuggled up to her chin, purring the whole time. Kaylee tried to keep up with the stroking, but in no time at all, her eyelids closed and her hand stilled. The purring didn't stop, though.

Of course, it wasn't until the morning – when the cat had disappeared – that she found the corpse of one of the white mice on her floor, just under the ladder. Its neck had been neatly broken, and its little tongue hung out of its mouth. Kaylee looked at the furry white body and wondered how in the verse she would explain this to the captain.

* * *

"How we doin'?" Mal yelled, poking his head into the cockpit.

Wash's snore cut off mid-vibrato, and he jerked upright. "Fine! Fine! Just resting my eyeba . . ." he trailed off, caught Mal's twitching smile and relaxed. "Will you stop fucking with me? That's my wife's job."

"Anything on the agenda for today?"

"Naw, just a couple of minor things Kaylee wanted to play with. You know how she is."

"That I surely do," Mal agreed. "See if you can't-"

He was cut off by a light on the control board that began blinking and softly bleeting "boop boop boop". Wash tapped it a couple of times, got no response, reached over his head to throw a series of switches, and still got nothing.

"Everything okay?" Mal asked.

"Yeah, I . . . think so. Wiring malfunction, looks like. Guess I'll be doing a little work of my own."

"Shiny. Keep me posted."

Mal stepped down from the cockpit and glanced down the corridor to see Simon coming his way. The doctor had an unhappy expression.

"What's she done now?"

Simon stopped, about to answer, when hatch to Kaylee's quarters opened, and she came climbing out.

"River hasn't done anything," he replied, offering a hand to Kaylee. "It's the mice. Someone let them out of their box last night."

"Someone? Where was your sister?" Mal's face tightened. What had been a simple job had just become logarithmically more difficult.

"In her room all night long," Simon answered, his shoulders tensing up. "As far as I know, no one went into the infirmary. The doors were locked."

"But?" Mal prodded.

"But the box was opened, not chewed through, and there was no sign of the mice."

Mal grimaced. "How I do not need this dyspeptic water buffalo shit right now. Great. Kaylee, roust the rest of the crew. We're going to have to pull a full search of Serenity and lay down some sort of live-capture traps. You up to puttin' together a few of those, doc?"

"Uh . . . cap'n?" Kaylee began. "I found one of the mice in my quarters this morning."

She held out a handkerchief, into which was tucked a very dead mouse. Its tiny eyes were glazed over, and its tongue still hung out of its mouth. Simon frowned at it.

Mal took a deep, calming breath. "Damn me to the hell of carnivorous grammar school teachers, I never should have taken this job."

* * *

Wash put the screws that held the panel in place up on the radar readout and set the panel to the side. From the lights, he expected to find some sort of glitch in the auxiliary nav board. It didn't square with what he and Kaylee had been working on. If anything were to go south, it would have been the main communications board. They'd been expecting it to go out any day.

What he found was totally different. Instead of a couple of wires with insulation rubbed off or a crack in the board, when he pulled the panel he looked straight into a pair of small, red, extremely insane eyes. They were accompanied by twitching whiskers and a long, slender, naked tail.

"What the . . . aw, geez, the Captain's gonna be pissed you guys got out. Come 'ere."

He reached in to pick up the mouse, cupping his hand to keep it from running further back into the wiring.

* * *

"Can I see that?" Simon asked.

Kaylee handed it over and chewed on her bottom lip.

"What?" Mal demanded.

"Its neck is broken," Simon noted, holding the corpse by its tail. "And there's something funny about the size of its skull."

"Well, cap'n, you know how I go on askin' for a cat," Kaylee said with a please-don't-yell-at-me expression of unease.

"Kaylee . . . you didn't."

"I think I'll take this back to the infirmary and do a necropsy," Simon nodded. "If that's all right with you, Captain."

"Fine. Whatever. Kaywinnet Lee Fry, you best not be tellin' me you brought a cat onto my ship without my express permission. I run a tight ship. I don't like surprises like this, especially not from my best mechanic."

Kaylee opened her mouth to explain when she was cut off by a scream. A high pitched, manly scream.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHH! GET IT OFF! GGGAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAH!"

For the better part of a second, all three of them stood there with their mouths hanging open – Simon still holding on to the dead mouse.

"GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! AAAAAAHHHHHH!"

Mal made the cockpit in two bounds, tailed by Simon, who passed the body to Kaylee.

Mal threw himself into the cockpit only to find Wash by himself, all the way in the corner, nearly standing on his head, frantically waving his arms in the air. With both hands and a huge yank, Mal pulled Wash to his feet.

"What is it?!" Mal demanded.

"Look out!" Simon yelled as a second – this time quite lively – mouse ran hell-for-leather over Mal's boots, under the control board and out of sight.

"AAAAH!" Wash screamed.

"WHAT?" Mal yelled back, holding Wash by the lapels of his coverall and shaking him a couple of times. Wash caught Mal's shoulders to steady himself, gasping for air.

"It tried . . . it tried to KILL me!"

"What did?" Mal asked, trying to get some sense out of his pilot.

"The mouse!" Wash gasped. "Did you see it? It's crazy!"

Mal released Wash so abruptly, he nearly fell over.

"The mouse," Mal repeated. "Tried to kill you."

"You had to have seen it!" Wash insisted. "It had teeth like this-"he held his hands nine inches apart. "I tried to pick it up, but it jumped right at my face."

"He does have some lacerations," Simon noted, leaning forward to get a better look.

"The mouse. Tried. To kill. You," Mal repeated again.

"Those are definitely bite marks," Simon added.

"That was the most foul-tempered rodent in the verse!" Wash shouted.

"I think you should come down to the infirmary with me," Simon pursed his lips thoughtfully. "We need to get those injuries cleaned."

"While you've got him down there, doc, how about somethin' that'll put him back in his right mind," Mal suggested.

"I'll see what I have."

On his way out, Simon paused to take the dead mouse from Kaylee once again.

* * *

"We've got a lead!" the second technician announced as he ran into the staff room. His partner looked up from her tea.

"What?"

He slapped the readout down on the table before her. "From that second bounty hunter – you know, the one that smelled so bad. He says Devastate was signed on to a cargo ship down dockside. Firefly class. He's trailing it to Liang Ho."

"Tell him to keep his eyes peeled for Obscuris," she responded, picking up the readout and looking closer at the text. "You can bet it went after Devastate, given the chance. And tell him not to let his guard down. Those things'll kill him soon as look at him."

* * *

"What's this about Wash being attacked?" Zoe asked, stepping into the infirmary.

Wash sat on the examining chair, his face plastered with stitch-strips and antibiotic ointment. He broke out into a dazzling smile when he saw her and winced as cuts, scratches, and bites were stretched.

"It's a long story," he told his wife.

"He was attacked by a mouse," Simon mentioned, working on something laid in a tray on the counter.

"Okay, not so long," Wash shrugged.

"A . . . mouse?" Zoe asked

"If it's anything like this one," Simon continued, "I wouldn't be surprised that his face is in such bad shape."

"Hey!" Wash protested, then turned to Zoe. "It's not that bad, is it?"

Zoe put a hand to her husband's chin and turned his face from one side to the other. "You do look like you picked a fight with a drunken weed trimmer."

"Huh."

"What is it?" Zoe looked over at Simon.

"This is one very strange mouse."

"Well, it hated me," Wash insisted. "That's pretty strange. All the rodents I've ever met seemed to at least tolerate me."

Zoe patted his hand and stepped closer to Simon, peering over his shoulder.

"I once had a rabbit. It was practically affectionate."

"See here," Simon pointed with his scalpel. "The brain case is nearly twice as large as you'd expect to see. Plus, there are implants all through the motor core. Its eyes face forward more than they should. Normally, that's a mark of a predator. I'd take odds that its muscle fibers are denser and more elastic."

"What you're saying," Zoe tried to translate, "is that this is a strange mouse."

"What I'm saying," Simon corrected, "is that this mouse was designed for a purpose. I'd better go talk to the captain."

As he left, Zoe and Wash stared at each other.

"Well, I feel vindicated," Wash said.

* * *

"But, Cap'n, I didn't bring the cat on board," Kaylee insisted. "It just showed up in my quarters last night. I'm fairly sure that it killed that mouse."

Kaylee didn't lie. If she said she hadn't brought the cat on board, then that was the way it was. Unfortunately, that left Mal with a problem. He had an excellent mad going on, and no one to take it out on.

"For now, just get busy repairing that control panel. You see a mouse, sing out. You see that cat, grab it before it can kill more of our profit."


	3. Chapter 3

**Part 3**

River stared at the oatmeal Book had put down for her. It wasn't that she wasn't hungry. She was. It was just that with the maniacal cackling and chanting coming from the bulkheads, it was hard to concentrate on food.

"Kill kill kill chew chew chew destroy destroy destroy," the chant went.

Trouble was, she knew they were talking about Serenity, which profoundly disturbed her. Serenity was a friend. River didn't want her coming to harm. The worst thing about it was Book and Jayne quietly chatting, like nothing was going on.

"SHUT UP!" River yelled, slamming her spoon down on the table. Book and Jayne immediately looked over, but the chanting continued.

"River," Book called, "are you all right? Would you like some sweetener for your oatmeal?"

Nobody ever listened to her, and now she couldn't even locate Hunts The Night and tell her where the little furry destroyers were hiding. In a pique, she threw her oatmeal against the far wall of the dining room.

"I ain't cleanin' that up," Jayne said.

"River," Book hurried forward as she buried her head in her arms, trying to shut out the voices.

"They won't be quiet! And I can't find her! Why won't anyone listen?" she sobbed. "They'll kill Serenity. That's what they do. Kill kill kill chew chew chew destroy destroy destroy."

Book kneeled at her side. "Who's trying to kill Serenity, River?"

"The mice!"

Jayne snorted and took another bite of his cereal. "Crazy as a wall-eyed bedbug."

Book frowned. "I think we need to listen. River's much more perceptive than any of us. She just has trouble articulating what she's aware of in a way we can understand. I doubt she means the mice, literally, but maybe there's something else going on the captain should be made aware of."

"Aware of what?" Mal asked, stepping through the hatch.

"Hey, did Wash really get his eyeball chewed on by one a those mice?" Jayne asked, grinning.

"Close enough," Mal answered, still eyeing River and Book. "Aware of what?"

"River says the mice are trying to kill Serenity," Book answered, well aware of how ridiculous he sounded.

"Yeah, well, I'm hearing that a lot these days," Mal responded. Before he could continue his thought, Inara and Simon arrived in the mess hall.

"What?" Mal demanded. "Does no one have a hobby other than bugging me?"

Then he realized that Inara was nearly vibrating with anger.

"What?" he asked, in a new tone of voice.

"When I signed on to Serenity," Inara answered, snapping out her words like the tip of a well-handled bullwhip, "you told me this was a clean ship. Explain this."

She held out her hand, and in it, resting on a square of silk, were several mouse droppings. True to her calling as a Companion, she'd arranged the droppings in a pleasing, symmetrical composition.

"I found these in my wardrobe. Two of my gowns have been chewed through. Destroyed! I expect to be compensated."

Seeing as how one of her gowns cost the same amount as would keep Serenity in fuel for two months, Mal took a deep breath before trying to find an answer.

"Captain," Simon interrupted. "I need to speak to you about these mice."

Oh, good. Someone he could be mad at, since the mice had been under Simon's care when they escaped. "What about the mice, doc?"

"The mice . . ." Simon started. "The mice are bad."

Jayne snickered.

"The mice," Mal repeated. "Are bad. Really? Because, you see, here I'd been thinking that we'd finally found that certain something special to round out Serenity's charm as a cargo ship. I mean, normally, it'd be rats. A little plague, a bunch of droppings, that sort of thing. But mice, being cuter, would be so much better. And now you're telling me that they're bad."

Jayne was now chortling.

"These aren't any normal mice," Simon answered. River nodded her head vigorously in agreement.

Jayne's chortles became guffaws. "Only on this ship would there be a bunch a lily-livered, pansy boys afraid a mice."

He opened one of the cabinets to pull out a jar of sweetener for his tea. What he got was a seething ball of white-furred fury leaping straight at his eyes.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAH! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!"

The mouse, bigger than any mouse had reason to be, bit Jayne just above the left eyebrow and dug in. As Jayne swung his head from side to side, the mouse dug in with its claws, ripping skin in all directions.

"Get it!" Mal yelled, trying to grab the rodent, and getting smacked by one of Jayne's flailing arms.

Inara somehow slipped past him, under Jayne's arms, pinched the mouse at the base of its jaws and twisted it off.

"AAAAAAAAH!" Jayne continued to scream.

Mal tried to right himself just as Simon was reaching across him, and they both bumped into Inara, sending her sprawling. The mouse leapt out of her grip and made a mad dash across the floor for cover. Book jumped at it, missed, and not two feet from where the bulkhead met a cabinet, something metallic hit the mouse square on its head. The sharp crack of the metal against its skull rang through the sudden silence, and a spoon clattered to the floor.

River stood up, walked over to the twitching mouse, and picked up her spoon. She carefully wiped it on her dress and returned to her seat.

"I don't like their whiskers," she muttered to no one in particular.

"Okay," Mal said, climbing to his feet and giving Inara a hand. "The mice are bad."

* * *

Kaylee hummed to herself as she worked on the wiring for the aux nav board. It was amazing the amount of damage that one small rodent had done. She'd come across mice chewing on wiring before, but this took the cake, the frosting, and the little birthday candles. She was going to have to spend most of the morning rerouting things around the damaged circuitry and all of that evening and the next day rewiring the boards. In a way, they were lucky. The mouse had started chewing on the first board it had come across. Three boards over was the life support master. If that had been taken out, they wouldn't have had time to repair it before the ship ran out of heat and air.

"RRrrrooooowwWWW!"

Kaylee bonked her head, swore under her breath, and pulled herself out just far enough to see her visitor. The cat had returned and was sitting not two feet away from her, purring and lashing its tail.

"Well, hey there, puss," she smiled and reached out to rub an ear.

The cat backed up without letting her touch it and meowed again, imperiously.

It was just out of her reach, so with a sigh, Kaylee withdrew entirely from the console's innards and sat up to put some proper love on the cat. But instead of accepting her pets, the cat ducked around her and went straight for the open panel of wiring. Kaylee started to intercept it, but the cat settled down into a hunting pose – tail lashing, head crouched, butt a few inches off the deck, and hind legs working back and forth.

"Is that mouse still there?" Kaylee asked, twisting to see behind her.

A low, rattling growl was her answer.

It all happened so fast, it was difficult for her to explain the sequence of events to Mal later. There was an explosion of hissing so loud, she dove behind the pilot's chair. That was followed by loud growling, and the cat batting at something behind one of the circuit boards. Something rattled, and then a white blur launched itself from one of the dark recesses right at her.

With a squeak, Kaylee scrambled into the pilot's chair, standing on its seat. The white blur ricocheted off the chair's base and made straight for a wall access panel. The cat, moving faster than any cat she'd ever seen, sprinted, bounded off the chair base as well, and landed on the mouse. The two animals blurred together into a ball of violence. They bounced off a cabinet and back into main portion of the cockpit, almost under Kaylee's booted feet.

Her mouth hung open in amazement – both at the speed and the brutality of the combat. At one point, the mouse had hold of the cat by the scruff of its neck, its jaws working furiously to bury its teeth even deeper. The cat, in its impossibly flexible manner, twisted, ripped the mouse off it with a hind claw, batted it two feet into the air, and then jumped, teeth slamming shut on the mouse's neck.

There was a loud crunch, and the mouse went limp. The cat landed on all four feet, stood still for a moment, then looked at Kaylee and set its dead enemy on the deck at her feet. It sat, licked its chops, and then it held up a paw, extended dagger-like claws and began to scrupulously wash each one clean.


	4. Chapter 4

**Part 4**

Simon had steered Jayne down to the infirmary, where he'd promised Mal he would both stitch up Jayne's wounds and give him a powerful tranquilizer. Mal, Inara, River, and Book all sat around the dining table, the second dead mouse laid out on a napkin.

"So what exactly is up with these mice?" Mal asked River.

"They destroy. That's their purpose," she answered.

"It's entirely possible that some entity – government or otherwise – developed these mice as a type of stealth weapon," Book said.

"Yeah, but why my ship?" Mal demanded.

"A test?" Inara speculated.

"Cap'n?" Kaylee stood at the entrance. In one hand, she carried the third rodent casualty. In the opposite arm, a cat curled snuggly against her ribcage. The cat jumped down, hopped up on the table and sat directly in front of Mal. It pursed its whiskers forward, curled its tail around its front paws, and watched him.

"What is this?" Mal demanded as Kaylee set the third mouse on the table beside him.

"Well," Book chuckled. "They say a cat may look at a king. As a captain, I suppose you rate a veritable stare."

"It killed this mouse that was hidin' out under the console," Kaylee explained. "Probably a good thing, too, seein' how much damage it'd already done."

"She," River corrected.

"What?" Kaylee asked.

"She. Hunts The Night is a female cat."

"That's her name?" Book asked.

"One of them," River tilted her head. "Some other people called her "dark cat"."

"I wonder what her third name is," Book mused.

* * *

She listened to the humming, gurgling noises the humans made. Perhaps they were not as stupid as the other ones she'd had to deal with. They did seem to have figured out that the Destroyers were her chosen enemy and should be theirs as well. The youngest female, rattlingly mad as a half-grown kitten, had the most intelligence by far. The eldest male was next, though rather far behind. The sunny female, however, was her favorite. She knew how to properly show her adoration, and she also appeared to appreciate the gifts of her enemies' corpses.

* * *

"Tell me we don't have to worry about these things breeding," Inara begged.

Mal shook his head. "Manifest said they were all male."

"Manifest didn't say they were insane killer mice," Book pointed out.

"Fine, I'll ask the doc to double check all the corpses we can bring in."

"Well, at least between River and Hunts The Night, we're down to half," Kaylee smiled.

At the mention of her name, the cat looked over at Kaylee, and her purr became a little louder. Then, though there was no noise that anyone else heard, both the cat and River cocked their heads, as though listening to a nearby sound. The cat trembled, and then took off full tilt for the companionway. Everyone else in the room abandoned chair and table to follow after.

Hunts The Night tore down the corridor, and hitting the stairs down to the cargo bay, leapt. Her body stretched out, and she perched precisely on the landing railing. River followed closest behind, dashing down the stairs and pausing just beside the cat, listening with that tilted head, empty expression she wore so often. Book and Mal stopped on the stairs above her. Inara and Kaylee stood behind them.

"What is it-" Mal started.

"SSSHHHHH!" River waved at him.

Hunts The Night leaned forward on the railing, her tail lashing back and forth, and her hind quarters rocking slightly from side to side. A silent growl shook her lean frame, and she glared with mad, golden eyes at a stack of cargo boxes in the far corner of the bay.

Inara leaned forward, squeezed Mal's arm, and pointed in the same direction.

"There," she said in a nearly silent whisper.

Her eyes must have been better than his, because at first, he couldn't see what she was pointing at. Then, it moved, a tiny whisker cleaning gesture that froze just as quickly again.

It was thirty feet at least, from the railing to the box, over a drop of ten. It knew they were there. There was no way they or the cat could make it down in time to keep that little vermin from running for an access panel.

"Cap'n," Kaylee breathed a quiet wail. "It's not a foot from the main hydraulics. We lose those, we won't be able to land properly."

"Book, 'Nara, let's ju-...where's the gorram cat?"

Hunts The Night didn't wait for anyone else's plan. Silent and swift as a shadow at moonrise, she had slipped down the stairs and was stalking the white mouse.

"_Mei-mei_," Mal announced loudly, "why don't we take a look at that control panel you were so fixated on last week."

"Huh?" she blinked as he took her arm and pulled her down the stairs.

"Just a regular old day, isn't it, Book? Fine day to go locate some of those staves we used in the last ball game and maybe the broom and mop from back of the supply locker."

"Right!" Book startled. "Fine day. I might just get one of those squirt bottles as well."

"Now, _mei-mei_, we're going to surround that _go se_ varmint all casual-like without gettin' in the way of the cat. It does its job, and if it happens to drive that gorram mouse our way, we herd it right back to it."

"Her, Captain, she's a girl," Kaylee insisted.

"And I'll buy her a barrel of the stinkiest fish she can stand if she manages to get rid of those things before they hurt Serenity any further."

They spread out, Book returning to hand everyone something to clobber the mouse with.

"There are three left," Inara commented. "How long will it take to find them all?"

"I'm hopin' with Coughs Up Hairballs over there, we'll get 'em all in fair order," Mal answered.

"Cap'n!" Kaylee shot him a withering look.

River stayed on the landing above, keeping an eye on all the proceedings, while the others slowly crept toward the cargo boxes where the mouse sat. It stared at each in turn, which was fine with Mal, so long as they kept it from seeing the cat.

Hunts The Night was good, very good. With her tortoiseshell markings, she seemed to fade into shadow and panel pattern until she was nearly invisible. She jumped to the top of a nearby stack without disturbing any of the crates and stood a foot above and behind the mouse.

"Any second now," Mal warned, hefting the stave in his right hand.

Hunts The Night made her attack just as the mouse caught some hint of her, and the cargo bay exploded into violent melee.

"Kaylee, duck!"

Instead of a sensible mouse retreat to the nearest hole, the rodent made an attack of its own. Book was fast enough to pull Kaylee out of the way, but ended up in the line of fire himself. The mouse fastened itself to his shoulder and then tore straight for his neck. Inara reacted the fastest and most sensibly. Swinging her stave like a sword, she caught the mouse on the very tip and flipped it up into the air, leaving a rake of claw marks on Book's shirt and neck. Mal, unfortunately, was in the path of her backswing as she prepared to hit a vermin line drive, and he took the full force of it between the eyes. He fell on his seat, pulling Kaylee with him.

Hunts The Night rocketed through the fight, rebounding off Mal's head to intercept the mouse on its fall to the deck. Both Inara and Book went after the mouse at the same time, and both missed, but Book's strike with the broom grazed the cat and knocked her off trajectory. Instead of grabbing the mouse between her jaws and giving a lethal bite, she could only snap at it.

When both cat and mouse hit the floor, there was a moment of stillness, then the mouse took off for the far corner of the cargo bay, under the stairs where Jayne kept his workout equipment. Inara jumped for the mouse, but tripped on her dress and fell, hitting her chin hard enough to draw blood. Book tried throwing his broom like a spear but only succeeded in throwing Hunts The Night off her sprint. The mouse made it to the far wall and disappeared through the joint of two access panels, leaving the tortoiseshell cat to pace, lashing her tail in frustration.

It all happened so quickly that even though Wash, Zoe, and Simon ran as soon as they heard a ruckus, by the time they made it into the bay, they saw only the aftermath – Book bleeding and gripping his hair in frustration, Inara lying prone, dabbing at her skinned chin, Mal on his back, curled up around his busted nose, and Kaylee, the only one unscathed, sitting up, completely disheveled.

"Is there something you'd like to fill us in on, sir?" Zoe asked.

"Oh, sure," Wash huffed, "I get clawed by the Killer Mouse From Hell, and no one takes me seriously. Let that be a lesson to you."

"RRRRROOOOOOOOOOOWWWW!" Hunts The Night howled in frustration.

"Where'd the cat come from?" Simon asked.


	5. Chapter 5

**Part Five**

It was a bruised and battered crew that gathered around the kitchen table. Jayne had rejoined them, and the only sop to his ego was that others had faired even worse than he. Mal looked the worst with two black eyes and a bandage over the nose that Simon had reset for him.

"She's very angry with you," River explained.

They had spent two hours in the cargo bay, pulling access panels off and letting Hunts The Night into every nook and cranny they could find. There was no sight of the mouse. None of them had ever seen a cat stomp around in a fit of anger before.

Mal restrained himself from the answer that popped into his head. "Kaylee, how're things looking?"

Kaylee pressed her lips together unhappily. "We've got about ten times as many random faults as we normally would have. So far it's been limited to the boards in the cockpit we know the mice got to and a couple of areas next to and around the cargo bay. But, captain, if they get into the engine room..."

"I know," he snapped, then caught himself. "Doc, what have you got?"

Simon, one of the few who hadn't been clawed, bruised, battered, or bitten, inclined his head. "I set out twelve different traps – each with a different bait. When I checked half an hour ago, seven of them had been set off, the bait taken, but no mouse caught. For mice, these things are quite clever."

"Wash?" Mal continued, wishing he could take something strong enough to wipe out his headache.

"We go dirtside in less than 36 hours," Wash shrugged. "That is, if we make it, and if you want to take us into atmo."

"Sir," Zoe spoke up, "we could close off the hatches and pump the atmo out, one section at a time. It's standard procedure for infested ships."

"Doc?" Mal asked.

Simon nodded slowly. "Depressurization would certainly kill them off – if we isolate them to a section with nothing else alive in it. I'd hate for the cat to come to harm."

"Mal, what if they're in with us?" Inara asked.

"Then that doesn't work, and we start all over again, only with everyone in pressure suits. Kaylee, let's go prep the engine room for vacuum."

"Yessir."

* * *

There were days when she wanted to chew all her fur off and run in rings until she collapsed. And then there were days like this that made the former feel like a nap in a warm beam of sunlight.

The river girl had commiserated with her long enough for Hunts The Night to calm herself by bathing whatever she could reach. Almost. She'd almost had her enemy in her jaws. She'd almost tasted its blood and heard its death squeak. Except for those bloody humans. How they managed to rattle around the cosmos in this tin can they called a ship and not die in one of many gruesome manners was beyond her. Give her a planet any day. The brown, crunchy male should have known better. He'd had the air of a wary tomcat that had lost one too many lives. You didn't hunt by prancing about in front of your prey hoping they laughed themselves to death. You hunted by anticipating your prey's path and crossing it at the right moment with death at the point of your claws.

It had taken her hours to retrack her prey, and it was headed for the heart of this pulsing home. Had it joined its brothers? She paced down the corridor to the long narrow room where a turbine rolled with warm life. Did they strike here, they could be victorious.

Cautiously, she crept in, whiskers aquiver for anything suspicious. The sunny girl spent time in here. Her scent was all through the place. After this was done, she'd definitely spend more time with the sunny girl. She, at least, knew how to properly scratch behind the ears. There was a great deal to be said for a human who could do that.

The mousy scent led her to behind and underneath the turbine, which raised her hackles. Carefully, she ducked and crawled, looking for whatever recess, nook, cranny, or hole her enemy could have gone to ground in. Then, the scent of the two others hit her – far too strong for the enclosed space she was in.

In the split second she realized that she'd been lured into an ambush, she felt one latch on to the back of her neck, a second attack her flank and dig in with teeth and claws, the last crouched before her, staring with glowing red eyes filled with hate before it jumped at her face.

* * *

"Cap'n," Kaylee looked up at him with big, brown eyes, "do you think, I mean, after all this is over-"

"Kaylee," he interrupted, "I know what you're going to say."

"_Please?_" she pleaded. "You know she'd be a good cat, and we already know she's a first rate mouser. We'd never have any trouble with-"

"We didn't have any trouble with varmints 'til I was foolish enough to take some on as cargo."

"But, cap'n-"

She was cut off by the sudden sound of a cat howling and spitting in fury. She and Mal looked at each other and then took off at a run.

"She's under the turbine!" Kaylee yelled.

"Get it prepped for vacuum," Mal ordered. "I'll get her out of there."

Kaylee hesitated half a moment, and then started popping open wiring boxes and hitting switches. Mal grabbed one of the support beams and swung himself under the turbine. Hunts The Night was a blur of fur, claws and blood with three white balls of furry insane hatred attached. Bracing himself, he pulled his knife out of his boot, reached in and grabbed the first bit of cat that presented itself.

One of the mice reacted by detaching itself from the cat and taking a huge bite of his arm. Grimacing, Mal pulled Hunts The Night out from under the turbine and swung her up onto the floor. Then, crouching with the knife in his hand, he started prying the mouse's jaws off him.

"Kaylee, how long?" he shouted.

"Just a second," she answered, bending in half around one of the coolant pipes.

The mouse dug its claws in. Hunts The Night, no longer trapped in a tiny space, had redoubled her efforts. With one twist, she got a back claw under the mouse trying to chew through her neck and ripped it off her. The other mouse dove right for her eyes. She turned, and it caught an ear instead, ripping it into bloody tatters. Mal saw the first mouse run straight back at her, and stomped it with all his weight. There was a horrible, wet crunch.

The mouse on his arm finally let go, apparently deciding it would rather keep its lower jaw. Instead, it set its sights on Mal's face and ran up his arm. He nearly stabbed himself in the shoulder knocking it off. When it hit the ground, it reversed course and went straight for Kaylee.

"_Mei-mei_, look out!"

Kaylee looked up from the circuit she was rerouting to see a tiny chisel toothed horror coming for her and automatically held out the two wires in her hands, naked ends first. The mouse ran straight into them, and there was a muffled pop as electrocuted mouse guts spattered the bulkhead and underside of the turbine.

That left one mouse, which was currently locked in a battle to the death with Hunts The Night. She was hurt and torn up and tired, but there was no way she would let her enemy escape her. With one swipe, she knocked it against the hatch. It scrambled for the hatchway, but she was on it. She caught it by the neck between her jaws and felt the satisfying crunch of its skull and neck.

Mal took a deep breath. "That was three, right, _mei-mei_?

"Well, I got one, and so did Hunts The Night," she said in a small voice. "Where's the third?"

"Under my boot."

He lifted his foot a bit, and Kaylee made a very small noise in the back of her throat.

"Hey, cat," Mal looked at the tortoiseshell.

She did not look up from her kill.

Mal took the few steps over to her and hunkered down. "Hunts The Night."

She looked up, and Mal saw the cuts, bites, and clawmarks on her face. One eye was swollen closed. An ear had been torn nearly through. Her fur was smutched with blood, most of it her own. She was breathing hard and trembling.

"Don't worry," Mal murmured to her, holding out a hand. "I'll make sure the doc takes good care of you."

She studied him for a moment, then gave his hand a tiny headbutt.

* * *

In the end, Simon confirmed that all the mice had been male. Well, all but the one which had been on the wrong end of a live current. There hadn't been enough of that one remaining to do a necropsy on. All the remains Wash and Jayne could find were put back into the original cargo container and relatched. Simon spent time stitching Hunts The Night and cleaning her wounds. She endured it patiently, sitting in Kaylee's lap and kneading her legs with large paws. Her ear would never stand up properly again, but that was only permanent injury. Mal came in to check on her before they made landfall on Liang Ho.

"Kaylee, you promise me you'll take care of the litter box and such," he said, rubbing a thumb over the cat's skull, "and I'll pay for her feed out of my pocket."

Her bright grin was all the answer he needed. Hunts The Night's eyes slowly closed under his ministrations and her purring became audible.

* * *

"So how were you figuring on explaining to the owner that his six live mice aren't?" Zoe asked, as they waited for the cargo door to drop. Kaylee and Jayne were with them, as well as Hunts The Night, who sat on Kaylee's shoulder.

"I hadn't planned on tellin' any such thing," Mal responded. "Wash tells me there's a man who sells such things not a ten minute walk from here. Owner'll get six male white mice, just like the manifest says."

"And if he notices?"

"Then we'll have a little talk about why it was his mice tried to kill my crew."

Zoe looked heavenward as if appealing to an authority higher than her captain. "I'm sure that will go over just fine, sir."

The ramp hit dirt, and the four of them stepped out, right into the sights of three bounty hunters with weapons pointing at them. The middle one smelled of dirty laundry and spoiled cabbage.

"Can I help you gentlemen?" Mal asked.

"Hand 'em over," the stinky one said, gesturing with his rifle.

Mal and Zoe traded looks. They and Jayne could go for their guns, but Kaylee might well be caught in the crossfire, something Mal wasn't about to chance.

"You'll have to sign for them," Mal said, holding up the manifest on a clipboard.

The bounty hunters looked at each other, and the smelly one jerked his head to send one of the others up.

After scribbling something illegible and pressing his thumb onto the form, the second bounty hunter took the box from Mal and opened it.

"Uh...they're dead," he said to his boss.

"Yeah," Mal agreed. "Had a small problem with them. Don't worry. They won't trouble you at all."

There was a long moment of silence as the smelly man thought this over.

"Jim, dit say anything about them bein' live?" he asked the third bounty hunter.

The third bounty hunter looked up, trying to remember, and started moving his lips as though he were reading the contract. His eyes moved back and forth as he thought. Finally, he shook his head.

"Naw, just wants 'em back," Jim answered.

Satisfied, the second bounty hunter rejoined his boss and coworker, and the three of them pointed their weapons.

"There," Mal gestured to Zoe. "See how nicely it all works out?"

"And the cat," Stinky Man added.

"Or not," said Zoe.

Mal looked at bounty hunters, gauging them. He'd rather not start something right there, but as far as he was concerned Hunts The Night was a member of his crew, and no gorram bounty hunter smelling like dirty socks was going to change that.

"Yeah," Mal replied. "I'm gonna suggest that you stick with the mice. See this?" and he pointed at his nose and two black eyes. "And that?" He pointed at Jayne's face. "I've got three others in the infirmary with marks not so different from that."

"And?" Jim asked, a little nervously.

"Well, now, Kaylee there is the only one you might say's really made friends with the cat. All the rest of us, not so much."

"Your client did mention that she's an _unusual _cat, right?" Zoe asked them.

The bounty hunters looked at each other once again. On cue, Hunts The Night began a low, menacing growl, leaning forward on Kaylee's shoulder and fixing each man with a golden eyed stare. It suddenly occurred to the three that they had a long trip back to Persephone, and in that time, many things could happen. It also occurred to each of them, that a three way split of the money for the mice was a fair and equitable amount of wages for the work they'd done. There was, after all, no need to tempt fate.

With some awkward mumbles and a little scuffing of shoes, the three bounty hunters departed with six mouse corpses and no cat.

When they were gone, Hunts The Night jumped down from Kaylee's shoulder and surveyed the world before her. Liang Ho was a fairly well established colony world. It had cities and towns, ranches, farms, and factories. More than that, though, it had fields with mice, boulders that sat in direct sunlight and soaked up the heat of the day, and even a few tomcats worth bothering with. Her tail curled up into a question mark as she looked out over the landscape.

"Rrrow."

"But," Kaylee objected, "don't you want to stay with us?"

With a loud purr, Hunts The Night stropped Kaylee's legs and gave her a loving head butt. She turned to Mal, who squatted down and held out his hand, one finger extended. She gave it a sniff, then a lick, and then bestowed another head butt on him.

"You stay out of trouble," Mal told her. "Next time we're dirtside here, we'll check in with you."

"Mmmrrr."

And with one last sleepy blink, Hunts The Night left, blending in immediately with the shadows cast by the trees at the edge of the landing field. There was a glimpse of yellow eyes, and she was gone.

Kaylee sniffled, and Zoe put her arm around her for comfort.


	6. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

Two gentlemen stood in a laboratory that had been abandoned for only a short time. On the counter was an opened cargo box and inside were five dead mice – one much flatter than the others – and a handkerchief holding the remains of a sixth.

"Most inconvenient," said the first gentleman.

"Yes," the second agreed. He tapped several commands out on the computer beside the cargo box. He wore gloves of an unusual shade of blue. "The accounts appear to have been emptied only a few days ago."

There was a pause during which a normal person would have sighed or tsked in frustration.

"I see," the first gentleman stated. "Shall we deal with technicians Monroe and Lee?"

"Eventually," the second one answered. "For the time being, I would suggest that we see about recovering the genetic record of their work and recreating the projects."

"I think that's a wise plan."

* * *

In a grubby office in the sprawling dockside, Badger leaned back in his chair, lazily watching the two cretins who stood before him.

"This is all your fault," the first muttered.

"Shut up!" the second hissed.

"Now, let me get this straight," Badger interrupted, pushing his hat further back on his head. "You want my help in disappearing off this planet."

"Yes," the second one nodded vigorously.

"And you don't care where I drop you," he added.

"No," she responded.

"I do!" he answered.

"Shut up!"

"I told you we shouldn't have hired those bounty hunters!" he whispered furiously, and the bickering started up again.

Irritated and amused, Badger watched them for another few moments. He would most like to kill them, but he doubted the percentage would be worth it. Instead, he pulled up a few miscellaneous listings. Serenity, Malcolm Reynold's ship, was due back in less than forty-eight hours. It would do his heart good to see Captain Reynolds trapped on his little boat with this pair of brainless gits. Yes, that worked out quite nicely.

"Well, I think I can work out something for the two of you," he smirked.


End file.
